Further evidence that I'm Brimming with Awesomeness

So this morning I happened to step away from my desk for a minute (which is shocking, as I joke with everyone around that I'm tethered to my desk and people have actually expressed shock and awe whenever I am let out of my cage and can be found in another part of the building) and when I came back, I saw the Red Light of Voicemail on my phone. I picked up the receiver to check the message, and promptly smacked myself in the eye. With the phone. If you ask me how a person manages to miss the side of their head and instead strike themselves in the eye with a large piece of plastic, I can only tell you I don't know, it takes a certain level of coordination.


Early this afternoon I was hard at work on a challenging mathematical problem, and while trying to figure it out, I was holding my calculator in my hand and randomly pushing buttons because I like the sound they make. It soothes me. Before I continue, you should really get an idea of what my calculator looks like:
Some people (the boys) have claimed this looks like it was manufactured in approximately 1974 and that it's a relic from an earlier time. I challenge that it's an amazing piece of office machinery and I could not live without it. Plus, the buttons make a soothing clicky sound, so what's not to like? And I bought it last spring, so it was most certainly manufactured post-1974. They're a bunch of haters.

Anyway, as I was absently pushing buttons, I suddenly realized that somehow I had switched to the European way of numbering. As in, I had commas where there should have been decimals and I had decimals where there should have been commas. I thought to myself, "oh I must have hit some obvious combination of keys to do this, I'll just change it back!" Yea, not so much. I cannot figure out how to change it back. And of course, the owner's manual is in my apartment where it is the most helpful, so I won't be able to fix the situation until I get home later. Calculator 1, Jessie 0.

I was also having a major (extremely liberal use of the word "major") crisis this morning because I could not make a decision on whether to watch Grey's Anatomy tonight and catch the season finale of The Office online tomorrow, or whether I should watch The Office tonight and Grey's tomorrow. I think it's both sick and wrong that they are on at the same time when I don't have a Tivo. After careful consideration and discussion with my esteemed advisor Toni, I have decided to watch The Office tonight. We do not yet know what the long-term repercussions of this decision will be, but we just have to make due the best we can with the information in front of us (I feel like this sentence should be said in a really deep voice-over sounding voice to make it seem more impressive).

Also, I've been stalking -er, checking the new fall lineups for TV regularly, so far Tuesdays look like a total wasteland (of course they are, why would I want something to look forward to on a Tuesday?). Meanwhile, there are about 3 channels I could watch on Mondays or on Thursdays. My plan to acquire a Tivo has just gone up a gear (which puts it from a 0 to like a .125 because I definitely can't justify the money until I'm living less like a college student and more like an actual grownup).

The Colgate Monster

For the last two days I have been profoundly obsessed with this giant zit currently in development on my chin. Right now it's just a big red bump but it's making me crazy and I can't stop touching it. I never seem to be able to help myself, I feel a zit and I immediately want to pop it. It's like a sickness. Is this an overshare? Probably, apologies.

Anyway, due to recent breakout situations happening all over my face, I started reading up home acne removal remedies online. Let me preface this next part by saying I DID NOT TRY THIS. I WAS WARNED AGAINST IT. I AM IN NO WAY ENCOURAGING ANYONE TO DO THIS. APPARENTLY IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. Hem hem, back to our regularly scheduled blog post: It appears that one home remedy for acne is to put toothpaste on your face (some did it just on one spot, some appear to have done it like a face mask) and leave it on anywhere from 10 minutes to overnight. 50% of people claimed this worked like a charm, 50% of people claimed it burned their faces off.

I had absolutely never heard of such a thing as putting toothpaste on your face to clear acne before this time. Maybe that makes me some sort of weirdo, but there you have it. Anyway, the people who were for the toothpaste-on-face option were ALL for it. They had special tips, swore by it, did it quite regularly and apparently all had perfect, flawless skin. I hate them already. :)

The people that were against it, on the other hand, were suffering serious consequences, like excessively dry skin that never went back to normal, tenderness, minty fresh skin, or actual face burns with scarring. Now, probably because it never occurred to me that putting toothpaste on your face would be a beauty regime, it has never occurred to me that toothpaste is potentially hazardous to your health. I know that you spit the majority of it out when you're brushing your teeth and you wouldn't want to start drinking it (eating it?) or anything, but seriously. Suddenly it is no longer banal teeth cleaning substance, it's morphed into scary acid-like substance that could turn your face into a Joker-esque mask. (yes, I know, this is not the first time I've had a crazy fear like this: see here). I'm still brushing my teeth regularly and everything, but who knew toothpaste was so dangerous? And apparently mint flavor is the worst offender.

Anyway, this research completely put me off home acne remedies because they are apparently all scary and potentially dangerous, so I guess I'll just have to live with the oily skin I was born with and let these little interlopers run their natural course across my face. *sigh

Oh, the pressure

Probably like most people (at least, that's what I'm hoping for), I have my days. I have days where I feel profoundly interesting and fabulous and I'm just full of things to say so you get long, (hopefully) interesting stories and/or rants (I'm prone to the rants). At the very least you get pictures of cute cats and little knitted things.

And then there are the other days. Days when getting through the work day and accomplishing everything that needs to be done outside of work and making sure I take a little time for myself is just about all I can handle and the posting doesn't happen. Not only does it not happen, I probably couldn't make it happen if I tried (believe me, I've started a post just about every day this week and then deleted it about two paragraphs in because it sucked. Hugely). So far every day this week has been one of THOSE days.

And today? Today I just feel like I've hit a wall, to spend an entire day at work and be productive will be a challenge, and it's unfair that it's only Thursday. :)

super cuteness

While having girly time at Alisa's on Saturday afternoon, the cutest thing ever took place:



One of Alisa's roommates' cats decided to take a nap on my lap and it was quite precious.

Birthday socks were distributed and enjoyed:


Good times had by all. :)

In Case You Weren't Sure You Were Buying A Chick Flick

Yikes, is this enough pink?

Vocab Day.

Scrub: What you know you are when you come into work with makeup on your face and your hair styled and the security guards do not know you.

Stress: When you make a point of stopping at the liquor store to buy two bottles of wine and walk the rest of the way home in the rain because the wine is more important than staying dry just then.

Phantasm: When you give the potatoes sitting in your kitchen the stink eye because they're taunting you about having cheese & crackers for dinner instead of actually cooking.

Lightweight: When you drink one glass of wine with dinner and feel tipsy.

Champ: When you drink two more glasses, to spite the potatoes.

Chump: When you wake up the next morning with a hangover.

Tuesday: When you're not sure the bottle and a half you still have will be enough.

Boredom is the Best Motivator

This weekend I was bored. It would be hard for me to properly explain to you how boring this weekend was. Suffice it to say that everyone I know was leading a more interesting existence than I was, and none of their plans involved me. This first led to a ridiculous amount of Sex and the City watching (like, shameful to the point that I watched most of the 2nd half of season 6 online because I did not want to wait for the last three DVDs to reach me, despite having received three non-viewed ones on Saturday, which translates to a total of like 20 episodes watched this weekend or something. Shameful). After watching that much Sex and the City it became necessary for me to switch to some Disney fare in order to maintain some balance and not become skewed by the SATC universe (ps - have you seen that Fergie is doing the theme song for the movie? I listened to it. It's gross, I'm so annoyed).

Round about 11pm on Saturday night I decided that my apartment needed to be cleaned. IMMEDIATELY. So I started going through my living room throwing away as much as possible, took two trips to the dumpster, scrubbed my bathroom AND started a new knitting project (I'm easily distracted, what can I tell you). I finally went to bed around 2am, woke up the next day and the cleaning continued. My apartment is (relatively speaking) completely spotless now. Every now and then I need a weekend like this to make up for all the weekends when I look around and think, "instead of cleaning this place I think I'll take a nap and then go drinking instead." (just kidding, I don't really drink that much. Mostly)

Anyway, it's another Monday here in paradise, and so far it's shaping up to be a 'stop on the way home and get a big bottle of wine' kind of day. Sounds like a good dinner, right?

doing my happy dance

...because Grey's Anatomy is coming back tonight. Yes!

And now a brief moment of lamenting the fact that I don't have a Tivo so I'll have to watch The Office online tomorrow. Stupid putting them on at the same time!

Anyway, yea I really don't have anything more interesting than that today. I slept like crap last night so today I'm in a cloud of tired. Should make for an interesting Thursday.

Word.

Another TV Post

So as it turns out, I'm pretty boring and I watch a lot of TV.

Anyway, one of my very favorite shows on television right now is How I Met Your Mother. This is a highly enjoyable show. Like, really great. And last night's episode was stupendous. I know there are a lot of times when I tell you that you need to go rent something and watch it immediately, or read something really good RIGHT NOW or what have you, so I'm going to do my best to refrain from that this time, but it's not going to be easy. Especially since CBS hasn't quite renewed it for next year and I will be a sad, sad girl if it's gone (and some of the things popping up here and there make it seem like they're gearing up for a big finish this season). But I know that this show has a definite target audience and if you're not in your 20's/early to mid 30's it might kind of miss the mark and not come off as all that funny to you. I will just put out there that you can rent the first two seasons on DVD and I'm pretty sure you can see all of this season's episodes at cbs online. You know, in case you're curious. I don't think you'll be disappointed. And if you are, it probably means you don't have a very good sense of humor and you need to lighten up.

I will send anyone who's interested on a little scavenger hunt for my top 5 episodes (in chronological order, oldest first):

1. The Pineapple Incident
2. Slap Bet
3. Spoiler Alert
4. Slapsgiving
5. Sandcastles in the Sand (last night's episode).

If watching any one of those 5 episodes doesn't make you want to see more, we probably can't be friends. Go check it out and get hooked if for no other reason than I need someone to be able to email after each episode for discussion purposes.

Thankyouverymuch.

I heart the office

Okay, seriously? That was a great episode of The Office last night. How adorable was Jim with that ring he bought a week after they started dating? It's so cute I can't stand it. All I'll say is she better say yes and no I don't think it's a problem that I get this involved with fictional characters, why do you ask?


Toni came over to watch with me last night and we made cookies! Yummy, delicious cookies! As it was the first time I've ever made cookies in my oven, they didn't turn out perfectly, but they were still edible and people at work seem to like them, considering 4 of the 12 I brought were gone before 9:30 this morning.


As an added bonus, I didn't even burn myself! And I only mildly set fire to my hot pad with no real harm done. Not too shabby!